How to Rescue a Dead Princess

By Jeff Strand

From the creative genius who would have brought you Hamlet, The Scarlet Letter, and a less-boring Moby Dick (if he'd been born on time) comes this outrageous comic fantasy. It's a tale filled with so much adventure, so much excitement, so much vocabulary, that all who read it will suffer a fit of giddiness that will freak out everyone in their general vicinity.

It's the saga of Randall, a squire assigned to escort the lovely Princess Janice on a diplomatic journey of utmost importance. Then she gets killed. Now Randall must overcome desperate odds and ridiculous dangers in his quest to bring her back to life...before the entire Generic Fantasy Land falls into the evil clutches of The Dark One!

Packed to the bursting point with unrestrained silliness (so be sure to hold it a safe distance from your face when reading), How to Rescue a Dead Princess is the novel all the really cool people are reading this year, an epic fantasy for your family to cherish approximately forever.

About the Author

Jeff Strand

Jeff Strand lives in Florida with his wife, his mentally questionable cat, and his hideous wardrobe. He's been writing ever since he was old enough to throw screaming fits in crowded supermarkets and is glad to have finally gotten some use out of that creative writing degree his dad paid for. He has several other wacky comedy novels in store; unfortunately, ignoring him won't make him go away.

Awards

EPPIE Finalist For Best Fantasy Novel! (Quarts of alcohol consumed by EPPIE judges: 9)

Reviews

A delightfully ridiculous spoof...well plotted, imaginative, and just a bit twisted. How to Rescue a Dead Princess is your ticket to inspired foolishness. —Whistling Shade

Be prepared to laugh harder than you have in a very long time! This talented author will have you laughing from cover to cover. —Alternate Realities

Very highly recommended. Jeff Strand has a wonderfully sharp wit...basically, he does everything right. Go buy the book. Do it now. —Word Weaving

I have never laughed so hard over a book as I have with this one. —Ivy Quill Reviews

"Who cares about fully developed characters and smooth transitions? This man is a comedic genius! Jeff Strand is setting a new precedent for writers of comedy. How to Rescue a Dead Princess is pure wonder." —Rhapsody Magazine

Jeff Strand still holds the title of being the sickest author I know! I dare anyone to read this story and while in a mad or blue mood and remain that way by its end. TOO FUNNY TO IGNORE! Highly recommended! —Huntress Reviews

One of those books that has to be read to be believed. All I can say is: Jeff Strand should be arrested for writing addictive works--maybe I should write my congressman (if Jeff is incarcerated, he will have more time to write). —Millennium Science Fiction and Fantasy

I don't read books like this, but if I was forced to...you know, if somebody put a sword to my head or something...Jeff Strand's How to Rescue a Dead Princess is probably a bit less painful than some other books I might be forced to read, I guess. —James Newman, famous author of Midnight Rain

When it comes to books, beach movies and health brochures starting with the words HOW TO, Jeff Strand's epic novel How to Rescue a Dead Princess is certainly far superior to HOW TO STUFF A WILD BIKINI and even HOW TO LANCE AN ENFLAMED BOIL! Read Jeff's highly informative book and learn HOW TO chortle with glee! —Mark McLaughlin, famous author of Slime After Slime

I was disgusted by this novel. The abuse of dead princesses is bad enough, but to see the deliberate and ultimately violent misuse of dead squirrels was beyond reprehensible. Jeff Strand should seek immediate psychological help...shortly after he is castrated. —James A. Moore, famous author of Blood Red

Probably not my best effort. —Jeff Strand, author of How to Rescue a Dead Princess