Jeff Strand's bio used to mention his cat, but every author mentions a cat in their bio, so he's decided to quit doing it. Fight the power.

He's been writing ever since he was old enough to throw screaming fits in crowded supermarkets, though the quality of his work from that era is questionable. How to Rescue a Dead Princess is his silliest book.

If you're looking for something less silly, although not exactly high literature, you may want to try his Andrew Mayhem series: Graverobbers Wanted (No Experience Necessary), Single White Psychopath Seeks Same, and Casket For Sale (Only Used Once.). Also available is his obligatory "giant ants attack the world" novel, Mandibles.

Cemetery Dance magazine said that "No author working today comes close to Jeff Strand's perfect mixture of comedy and terror." They weren't talking about How to Rescue a Dead Princess.

He checks his e-mail every forty-six seconds, and receiving e-mail from his readers makes him positively giddy. It's almost a little creepy. Write him at your own risk at JeffStrand@aol.com.

Want to know more about Jeff Strand?

Are you crazy?

Well, okay. We warned you...

Go ahead and visit his Seriously Whacked website at http://www.jeffstrand.com. Somebody needs to.